Most of the time, the challenges that I have seen men and women entrepreneurs facing are completely opposite. They are almost mirroring each other. For example, when I work with men, my work is about giving them more perspective, helping them to reflect, and helping them to slow down because most of the time they get an idea and they run with it. Equally, sometimes they are running with about 5 different ideas at the same time and they don't know where to focus. So most of the time, my mentoring with men is about bringing them back to their core and to doing less instead of doing more.
On the other hand, women think too much. They start considering every single implication of their actions: What would happen if I launch this program in this way and if I create this offer, what if I don't have the time to do this? What about this? What about the other person? What they are going to think of me? It's a lot about what others are going to think of me, which men won't have as much. That's what I found slows women down. So, the biggest part of my work with women is actually getting them to think less and acting more to get things done because otherwise they could spend 6 months on just planning a project.
Men's brain is wired very differently than women's brain. Our genetic instinct, our survival interest, the reptilian brain that governs us has different rules. It has a rule for men and a rule for women based on what they needed to do and who they needed to be. There have been a lot of studies done that when the brain experiences a new idea, multiple areas of the woman's brain will fire at the same time compared to a man's where, if they think about one thing, there is only one area of their brain firing up. That's why women get so fed up when they say, how did you miss that? It's just in front of you. But that's just not in the area of the brain that I activated right now. So, genetically speaking, this is a huge difference and the problem arises how we communicate so these two parts can understand each other.
What is important for both men and women to understand is that when women see a man going into full focus mode or solution mode, whether it's in a relationship or in the workplace, just understand that they are not seeing what you are seeing. And one thing that you can do to help them is help them slow down, raise their head, activate their peripheral vision, and see what else they are missing. This will make a huge difference.
Thinking about consequences is something that is deeply wired into a woman's brain. Every action I take has consequences in multiple different areas. So what I found useful is that if I make a a woman think about understanding the consequences of not taking action, if I'm talking their language - for example: Okay, these are the consequences if you're taking that action, but let's now explore the consequences if you're not taking that action - now they they found a way to rationalize it and say: Okay. Now I'm feeling more comfortable and confident to take that action.
In terms of communication, women are definitely way better than men because they're way more comprehensive. Most of the time a woman will have a high level of communication because they take into consideration multiple parties that everyone can read. Everyone can find most of the time something that is relevant for them. And so I think that the detailed thinking, the thinking about different consequences is definitely reflects at the communication level, which can backfire sometimes with men though. Men need to have simplified information, and that sometimes can create conflicts between men and women. Women simply give too many details.
It's important for men to have patience to understand that for a lot of women, you need to let them talk because they will find a solution - and probably it will be a better one that you're thinking of, by the way. They will find their own solution just because they've been talking through their story and you gave them space for that.
One of the biggest things is that a man needs to feel needed and wanted. This is really important in personal relations, but also in business relationships as well and you're in your workplace. Traditionally the role of a man has been the role of the provider. A man will find their place in the world, their sense of self, in the idea of providing value, in the idea of creating, in the idea of being useful, being of service - doing things for others. I think that when a woman tries to go to a man and take that away, they will get the worst part of a man because now they are taking away their best part. They're taking away the part of the man that wants to give, that wants to contribute, that wants to feel of service and to be there and say: I'm here for you. And if you take that away, what remains is the angry, belligerent part that needs to prove itself because now I'm not needed. So, the magic question that any woman could use is: Can you help me with this?
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